Stall note

Ladies:

Normally I do not support the posting of these notes on the inside of the bathroom stalls. Those who place them seem to view us Ladies as nothing more that recalcitrant 3rd graders.

But a recent experience has prompted me to such extremes.

I would be ever so grateful if, in future, you were to place your derrière ON the toilet like a normal person. When you attempt to HOVER, you inevitably spray urine all over the bathroom seat. Then when the next person comes in to the stall and — in the rather dim lighting such as we have in our restroom — places her pristine hiney directly upon the seat, she is treated to a rather unpleasant surprise.

I am certain you are aware that Modern Life has brought us the convenient hygiene of many forms; among them you have the flushable paper rings placed between your seat and the one attached to the toilet basin. Please avail yourself of these, rather than leaving a mess for the next lady. Or, if you are so intent upon hovering (perhaps to strengthen your quads, I don’t know) might I suggest giving a quick backward glance to see that you have not left something untoward for your coworker to mop up with her own behind?

Thank you for reading and may you enjoy the rest of your day.